Is It Selfish to Focus on Myself Right Now?
If you’ve been watching the news and feeling overwhelmed by suffering, it might feel strange or even wrong to care about your own anxiety, confidence, or stress levels. You might ask yourself:
“Who am I to feel this way when others have it worse?”
“Shouldn’t I be doing more?”
“Is it selfish to focus on healing when others are in crisis?”
These questions are rooted in empathy. Your empathy is a strength. But they can also be a sign of moral distress — the emotional pain of not being able to fix or relieve others’ suffering.
The truth? You are allowed to care about yourself.
Caring for your own mental health increases your capacity to remain present, to resist despair, and to contribute in meaningful ways.
What helps:
Naming the guilt. Guilt often shows up when we care deeply. Naming it helps us process it instead of being ruled by it.
Reframing self-care as sustainability. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Attending to your needs doesn’t make you less compassionate; it helps you keep showing up.
Giving yourself permission to step back. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to fix everything to deserve peace.
Healing and hurting can coexist. You can hold space for global pain and still take time to breathe, journal, stretch, laugh, or ask for help.
If this reflection stirred something in you — if you've been wrestling with guilt, grief, or the question of whether your pain is "allowed" — you’re not alone.
Therapy can be a place to explore these questions with compassion and care. I welcome you to reach out if you’re seeking a space to reconnect with yourself during these overwhelming times.
What is Psychotherapy?
It all begins with an idea.
What is psychotherapy? Sometimes just called “therapy”, psychotherapy involves working with a licensed therapist or counselor who helps you to develop healthy, effective habits to address your problem.
What is therapy like? Therapy is a collaborative process. In the beginning, your provider will gather a thorough history to understand you, your problem, and how it developed. Your therapist will ask about your goals for therapy, and then together you and your therapist will develop a treatment plan designed to reduce your symptoms and improve your quality of life. During therapy sessions, you will learn new skills and approaches to healthy coping. Your therapist will monitor your progress as you practice those skills in your day-to-day life and test out new strategies.
How long will I be in therapy? The duration of therapy depends on your type of problem or disorder, your goals, how quickly you progress in applying new skills, and the type of therapy you choose to use with your therapist. Some people feel relief after a few sessions and others may have regular visits for several months. Therapy is not a lifelong commitment. Your therapist will collaborate with you about how long therapy is anticipated to last and about your progress toward your therapy goals to identify your eventual completion date. In your last sessions, you all will discuss a plan of action for maintaining your treatment gains and how to monitor for signs that future ‘booster sessions’ may be helpful.
How can I get the most of my time in therapy? Therapy works best when you are open, honest, and collaborate with your provider. Successful treatment also requires work outside of the therapy room. By using fresh strategies and applying new skills in your everyday environment, you will create lasting improvement in the way you feel. When therapy ends, you will have a variety of new tools you can continue to apply to help you better cope with future challenges that may arise. To build those tools into habits that create lasting change, consistent attendance to treatment is important. Typically, that means attending one therapy session per week.
What is Evidence-Based Psychotherapy (EBP)? Evidence-based psychotherapy approaches have been developed and scientifically studied for particular conditions. Research has shown these therapies to be very effective at reducing symptoms and improving quality of life in a relatively short time. Typically, EBPs are provided weekly in sessions that last 50-90 minutes for a predetermined number of weeks. However, these manualized treatments may not be the best fit for your needs or your goals. That is why you will collaborate on a personalized treatment plan with your provider.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
It all begins with an idea.
Grounding strategies work by connecting us to this present moment.
Right here, right now.
When anxiety, stress, or overwhelm hit, it can feel like your mind is spiraling out of control. In those moments, a quick and powerful grounding exercise can help you reconnect to the present—and find a sense of calm. One of the easiest techniques to use anywhere, anytime, is called the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique.
What is the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique?
The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a sensory awareness exercise that helps pull you out of your anxious mind and into your body and environment. By intentionally focusing on your five senses, you interrupt racing thoughts and anchor yourself firmly in the here and now.
How to Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Take a deep breath and slowly notice:
5 Things You Can See
Look around you and name five things you can see. It could be a tree outside, a book on your desk, or a color on the wall. Try to slow down the urge to rattle off five items. You can slow down and notice the quality of each object: size, color, textures, movement, etc.
4 Things You Can Feel
Notice four things you can physically feel, like the texture of your clothes, the chair you're sitting on, or the ground beneath your feet. Try tuning first to things your body is already touching, or reach out and touch an object near you. Again noticing the qualities of each item: texture, temperature, how hard or soft, etc.
3 Things You Can Hear
Listen carefully and identify three distinct sounds, such as birds chirping, a fan whirring, or distant traffic. You’ll likely notice sounds that were already all around you, but that your brain cut out in place of the internal chatter of our thoughts.
2 Things You Can Smell
Take a deep breath and find two smells. Maybe you notice your coffee, your lotion, or fresh air. If you can’t smell anything immediately, pick up an object hear you and take a whiff. What do you notice?
1 Deep Breath
Round out your practice by taking a long slow inhale and exhale, tracking the breath all the way through and feeling the sensation of breathing.
Tip: Move slowly and gently through each step without judgment. There’s no "right" answer—just notice what’s around you.
Why Does the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique Work?
When you engage your senses, you’re using parts of your brain that are tied to the physical world, rather than the mental loops that fuel anxiety. This shift helps calm the nervous system, decrease emotional intensity, and restore a sense of control and safety.
The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can:
✔️ Reduce symptoms of panic or anxiety
✔️ Interrupt cycles of rumination and worry
✔️ Help during emotional overwhelm
✔️ Improve mindfulness and body awareness
When to Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
During a panic attack
When feeling disconnected or “out of it”
After receiving difficult news or challenging feedback
Anytime you feel overwhelmed by stress or strong emotions
Final Thoughts
Grounding is an essential tool for mental wellness, and the 5-4-3-2-1 technique is one you can keep in your back pocket for life’s difficult moments. With regular practice, you’ll build greater resilience and learn how to return to the present even when life feels chaotic.